***From The Author of Love is Like Shopping For Shoes ***
Love is like buying a car. Yes, my disposable income has increased from the time I wrote Love is Like Shopping for Shoes. Unlike before when I was willing to gamble PHP 2,000 pesos for a fabulous pair of shoes, I am now willing to gamble a much larger sum of money to buy myself my first car. I spent my weekend looking for a car that will suit me. I didn't realize that looking for a car that suits me is as complicated and as difficult as finding love.
First Consideration: Should I buy a brand new car or a used one? Buying used cars has become more and more popular for many reasons. Besides the fact that it is cheaper to buy used as opposed to new, auto manufacturers are making better quality vehicles. These better quality new cars in turn make better quality used cars. Used car buyers are now getting a more reliable, better-conditioned vehicle that will last much longer. The same thing in relationships, I guess. Being with someone who has gone through difficult times, who has experienced what it's like to love and let go of love, and understand the lessons he needed to learn from that phase of his life, makes him a better person in the long run. Experience is truly the best teacher and sometimes, the best way to learn and do better is to make that mistake and learn how to fix it. Expectations are much more realistic, and approach is much more flexible. However, being with someone who has not gone through such difficulties has it's advantages. He may not have the fears that a person who has experienced a broken heart may have. His judgement may not yet be clouded by traumatic experiences a second hand heart may have. But then again, he may have coffee caramel dreams and unrealistic expectations, which eventually will lead to disappointment, when not met.
Second Consideration: Assuming I will buy a used car, I need to know the used car's history. Used Car History is a must for any used car buyer. Plain and simple, you should not buy a vehicle from a dealer, friend or even family member without first doing a thorough check. Why you ask? Because it is the only way to find out if the vehicle has any serious hidden problems such as collision damage, odometer rollback, has been reconstructed or has persistent mechanical problems. In the same way, make a covert investigation why this heart is still out in the market. If he is such a good catch, how come no one has snagged him yet? Just like cars, he could have hidden defects. He could be another closet queen, or he has a serious work habit deficiency, or he's just plain obnoxious. You need to know why the second hand heart was given up by its previous owner. This precautionary measure can spare you tons of heartache and disappointments.
Third Consideration: Ratings and Reviews. Used car ratings prove that they are a wise, cost-effective alternative to buying new. The best way to figure it out is to read what the experts had to say about the cars you're considering. In relationships, listen to what your parents and friends say about this person. It's not really about letting other people decide for you, it's more like listening to what people outside of the relationship has to say based on their observations are. If your family and your friends have only good things to say about this person, then you're blessed. You must have made a good choice.
Fourth Consideration: Maintenance and Operating Cost. High maintenance or low maintenance? My greatest dream in life is to own an Mercedes Benz E230 in Silver Gray but realized that a single small part may costs me thousands of pesos for me to have it replaced. I did my research and aparently the more high-end your car is, the more money you need to spend on insurance and maintenance. As I grew older, my dream car has shifted to the Nissan Patrol. The last time I checked, the latest model of an A/T Nissan Patrol with leather interiors and its very own entertainment additions costs about 3.8 million pesos, excluding insurance and registration. I could try working myself to death to come up with 3.8 million pesos to acquire it, but is it really worth it? You see a girl with nice shiny black hair, poreless perfect skin, a ramp model stance, chic bag and high heels. Let me calculate for you. Hot oil, depending on which salon she gets it and length of her hair, could go as high as PHP 1,000. Microderm abrasion, PHP 1,400 per session. Glycolic peel, PHP 1,400 per session. Manicure, PHP 600. Pedicure and foot spa, PHP 800. Spa treatments, average of PHP 2,000 per week. Gold's gym membership PHP100,000 plus PHP 1,800 monthly. Monthly cosmetics and girlie supplies, average of PHP 5,000. The time you need to spend waiting for her to finish her girlie to do lists, an average of 4 hours per weekend. The miserable look on her boyfriend's face as he computes her spending while he waits for her, PRICELESS. The more high-end, the more you need to be willing to give more. High maintenance relationships, demand more and are more stressful.
Fifth consideration: Commitment. No one wants to drive a dust covered car. No one wants to drive a car that screams "please lang, paliguan mo naman ako." Are you willing to wake up at 5:30 am, just to bring your car to the car wash so you could be in the office for an 8:00 am meeting? Are you willing to wash it yourself? Are you willing to get your hands all dirty because you need to put grease in it's small parts just to prevent them from rusting? Are you willing to make time to make the relationship work? Are you willing to swallow your pride and be a little crazy sometimes just to make him feel cherished?These five important considerations have led me to this conclusion: I am not ready to have my own car. Not yet. I don't have the resources to maintain it. I don't have the commitment to ensure that it stays clean and well-maintained at all times. I don't have the enthusiasm to drive it everyday to the office. Someday, I'll probably have enough resources to buy and maintain the car I want, the enthusiasm to take care of it and the ownership to drive it. Until then, I probably would spend my time preparing myself for that day. = )
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