Make-up Letter from Batang Star to yours truly..

Dear Sai,

I don't really know how to tell you this, I'm joining the covenant. I think I realized it when you smacked my ass with Jean Chrétien and I saw you sit on my salt-beef bucket. I'm sure you're frostbitten enough to understand that your ford sucks. I'm returning your nose hair clippers to you, but I'll keep your photo with the mustache drawn on it as a memory. You should also know that I mocked you behind your back constantly your cucumber-fetishism is weird.

With tears of sadness,

Chris


Deym, star! This is frickin' hilarryon! yes, La, damay ka dito! LOL.

Follow the meme..

Do it like this:
Dear (the person who last texted/smsed you).
I don't really know how to tell you this, but ___1___.
I think I realized it ___2___ ___3___ and I saw you __4___ ___5___.

I'm sure you're 6 enough to understand ___7___.

I'm returning ___8___ to you, but I'll keep ___9___ as a memory.
You should also know that I ___10___ ___11___.

___12___,
-Your name-

1. What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - Our romance is over
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'll join the monastery
Black - I dislike you
Green - Our horoscope doesn't match
Grey - You're a pervert
Yellow - I'm selling myself
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - You're a loser
Other - I'm inlove with your sister

2. Which is your birth month?
January - That night
February - Last year
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on sesame seeds
May - First of May
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I threw up
August - When I saw the shrunken head
September - When we skinny dipped
October - When I quoted Santa
November - When your dog ran amok
December - When I changed tennis shoes

3. Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - In your apartment
Pizza - In your camping car
Pasta - Outside of Chicago
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you ate enchilada
Chicken - In your closet
Kebab - With Paris Hilton
Fish - In women's clothing
Sandwiches - At the Hare Krishna graduation
Lasagna - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a state of trance
Annat; With George Bush and his wife

4. What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Hit on
Red - Insult
Black - Ignore
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Put leeches on
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the toupee off
Barefoot - Sit at
Other - Drive out

5. What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My best friend
White - My father
Grey - Bill Clinton
Brown - My fart balloon
Purple - My mustard souffl�
Red - Donald Duck
Blue - My avocado plant
Yellow - My penpal in Ghana
Orange - My Kid Rock-collection
Pink - Manchester United's goalkeeper
None - My John F. Kennedy-statue
Other - The crazy monk

6. What do you prefer to watch on TV?
Scrubs; Man
O.C.; Emotional
One Tree Hill; Open
Heroes; Frostbitten
Lost; High
House; Scarred
Simpsons; Cowardly
The news; Mongolic
Idol; Masochistic
Family Guy; Senile
Top Model; Middle-class
Annat; Ashamed

7. Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful I've felt
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That Santa doesn't exist
Angry - That your pimples are at the last stage
Depressed - That we're cousins
Excited - That there is no solution to this.
Nervous - The middle-east
Worried - That your Honda sucks
Apathetic - That I did a sex-change
Ashamed - That I'm allergic to your hamster
Cuddly - That I get turned on by garbage men
Overjoyous - That I'm open
Other - That Extreme Home Makeover sucks

8. What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your ring
Yellow - Your love letters
Red - Your Darth Vader-poster
Black - Your tame stone
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - The pictures from LA
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your contact book
Grey - Our matching snoopy-bibs
Purple - Your old lottery coupons
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your memories from the military service

9. The first letter of your first name?
A/B - Your photo
C/D - The oil stocks
E/F - Your neighbour Martin
G/H - My virginity
I/J - The results of blood-sample
K/L - Your left ear
M/N - Your suicide note
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - David's tricot outfits
Y/Z - Your grades from college

10. The last letter in your last name?
A/B - Always will remember
C/D - Never will forget
E/F - Always wanted to break
G/H - Never openly mocked
I/J - Always have felt dirty before
K/L - Will tell the authorities about
M/N - Told in my confession today about
O/P - Was interviewed by the Times about
Q/R - Told my psychiatrist about
S/T - Get sick when I think of
U/V - Always will try to forget
W/X - Am better off without
Y/Z - Never liked

11. What do you prefer to drink?
Water- Our friendship
Beer - Senility
Soft drink - A new life as a clone
Soda - The incarnation as an eskimo
Milk - The apartment building
Wine - Cocaine abuse
Cider - A passionate interest for mice
Juice - Oprah Winfrey imitations
Mineral water - Embarrassing rash
Hot chocolate - Eggplant-fetishism
Whisky - To ruin the second world war
Other - To hate the Boston Celtics

12. To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand - Warm regards
USA - Best regards
England - Good luck on your short-term leave from jail
Spain - Go and drown yourself
China - Disgusting regards
Germany - With ease
Japan - Go burn
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt - Fuck off now
France - In pain
Other - Greetings to your freaky family

OMG! WAW!

yehess! Ima rant right here, right now!

Effin' hipag complained to my mum about me playin' muzik early in the mornen! THWH! I started to unmute my player after her alarm went off so she'd get her fat ass off of her bed. Her alarm's so frickin' annoying to listen to multiply by ten every mornen! Add her rushed movements in the room, superb way of losing an hour's sleep for me!

I wasn't even complainin even if I can't sleep at night coz of her loud snores and sleep-talkin coz I'm tryin to adjust to her sleepin mannerisms since we're now sharin a room. Sya rin sana matutong makisama and try not to be too anal about things since we're just both nakikitira sa bahay ni ina.

My mum told me to talk to her about this ish, I told my mum, prob with her, onteng diprensya, nakadabog agad. She wont speak her mind through words. Lagi sa gamit pinupukol ang inis! Even my younger bro agrees with me.

Well, either matuto syang makisama or umalis sya. The door is wide open! And yung credit card issue, well, bad news for her, she's my kuya's spouse, she's responsible to whatever liability he has!

x's: I'm still thinkin of posting this small rant in my multiply so she could read it and weep.. >_<

Women With Bigger Boobs Are Smarter! (Purged from Yahoo! Entertainment, 2004)

Big-boobed gals have a new reason to stick out their chests with pride. A surprising study proves they're more intelligent than their small-breasted sisters!

The study of 1,200 women conducted by Chicago sociologists comes in the wake of a recently released report stating that blonde rocket scientists outnumber brunettes.

"Although I hate to admit it, we found that women with big busts average 10 IQ points higher than less well-endowed women," reveals lead researcher Dr. Yvonne Rossdale, herself a meager 32A.

"The myth that women with voluptuous figures are not smart should now be shelved, along with the misconception that all blondes are dumb."

Dr. Rossdale measured the busts of women in Illinois, Kansas and Ohio and then divided them into five categories: Extra-small, Small, Medium, Large and Extra-large. These categories roughly corresponded to commercially available bra sizes, A, B,C, D and DD or above

She then gave subjects in each category a standard IQ test and found that women in the Large and Extra-large category scored an average of 10 points higher than women in the Small and Extra-small categories. Medium-sized ladies had a three- to four-point edge over the flat-chested group.

"This is a wake up call to employers to drop the notion that women with large breasts are dumb," Dr. Rossdale says.

"Rather than automatically assuming that a woman with tremendous 'hooters' belongs in the typing pool, she should be considered for the executive track."

Experts aren't sure why bigger headlights translate into more brain power.

"One theory is that the female hormone estrogen, which is responsible for breast development and is also believed to give women extra protection from heart disease, may also play a role in intelligence," Dr. Rossdale says.

American women have the largest breasts in the world and our nation's knockers have been increasing in volume with each generation. According to a recent report, the average U.S. cup size has ballooned to an impressive C.

That, the sociologists speculate, may explain why the United States leads the world in science and technology.

"Well-endowed women, many of them shyly concealing their assets behind lab coats in research and development departments across the country, could be considered America's secret weapon," the researcher observes.

The false notion that bosomy babes are dumber than those who sport teensy "mosquito bites" is probably the fault of men, the sociologists theorize.

"It may simply be that men pay less attention when a large-breasted woman speaks," suggests Dr. Rossdale.

"She could accurately explain Einstein's Theory of Relativity to him, but if he's transfixed by her cleavage, it's doubtful he'll remember a single word she said. He'll remember her as sexy but stupid."