Casablanca

From Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem In Memoriam:27, 1850:

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Naglalakad ako sa may aplaya. Natatanaw ko ang mga mangingisda't kani-kanilang mga pamilyang tulong-tulong sa paghila ng fishing net. Mainit ang sikat ng araw, bagama't hindi naman nakakapaso. Masarap ang simoy ng hanging nagmumula sa dagat. Kasabay ng alon ay nalalasahan ko ang alat..Kaysarap pumikit at mag-relax..

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Naliligaw ako sa mala-labyrinth na palenke. Hindi ako pamilyar sa lugar, ngunit hindi naman ako nakaramdam ng takot kahit pa ilang ulo ng tupa na ang nadaanan ko. Wala namang manginginom sa paligid. Nawawala ako.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Nasa loob ako ng isang bar. Merong jazz music sa background. May mga nagsusugal sa isang sulok. Mayroon namang simpleng nagdi-dinner date lamang sa isang banda. Ako, nagi-isa sa sulok ng lamesa. Sinasamyo, sinisimsim baso ng vodka, sapagkat wala raw silang tequila.. Napansin kita't tinanguan, here's looking at you, kid!

nota bene: an unpolished writing attempt.

Purple Proses

I'm thinking of going back to writing inane things that have nothing to do with my day-to-day life and activity, if I have one that is..

I realized the way your eyes deceived me with tender looks that I mistook for love
So take away the flowers that you gave me, and send the kind that you remind me of

Paper Roses
Paper Roses
Oh how real those roses seem to be
But they're only imitation,
Like you imitation love for me

I thought that you would be a perfect lover
You seemed so full of sweetness at the start, but like a big red rose that's made of paper
There isn't any sweetness in your heart

Paper Roses
Paper Roses
Oh how real those roses seem to be
But they're only imitation
Like you imitation love for me

Cheese, wine..My First Time..

I woke up as early as 4am last Saturday kase pupunta kame ni ina sa tiangge.. Well, so far, yun yung lam kong plano nyang gawin. So, nag-swap meet kame, namili ng gulay ilokano ni ina, saluyot, patola, talong na parang hinliliit (sabe kase ng tindera, mas maliit mas mahal), ampalayang maliliit din, bunga't bulaklak ng kalabasa (alang gaano sa likod-bahay namin eh!), at ang di galing sa kanal na kangkong. Tas bigla sya nagyaya magpunta ng Saks 5th at Neiman Marcus.

Goodness! 65% off sale sa Saks pero sky high pa rin ang prices! Biruin mo, nasa $900-something pa rin yung napaka-simpleng D&G bag?! Meaning, nasa $2000-something original price ng lecheng bag na yun. Nagustuhan ko yung Hobo na evening clutch bag, kaso ala akong anda..sale na rin yun sa $80-something.

Then we went to Neiman Marcus, meh invitation pala si ina for a private showroom sale! Pucha! First time ko ma-experience yung kame lang ang nandun at nagtitingin ng merchandises na preview collection pa ng fall, tas meh sini-serve pa yung mga associates na cheap wine and/or champagne, cheese, crackers, fruits (grapes & strawberries), tsaka pepperoni. Buti na lang hapon na kame pumunta kase coffee, juice, doughnuts, and bagels yung ni-serve nila from 10am 'til 1pm. Syempre, ala akong binili. Ang mamahal kaya ng paninda nila!

Ganito Sila Noon..

Mga awiting nilimot ng panahon na kaysarap pakinggan at paulit-ulit balikan. Nasaan na ang pagiging malikhain mo, Juan dela Cruz..? Maaari pa bang ibalik ang dati mong pagiging makata at busilak?

"Sinisinta kita, 'di ka kumikibo; Akala mo yata ako'y nagbibiro.
Saksi ko ang langit, sampu ng kanduro; Kundi ka mahal, puputok yaring puso."

"Kataka-takang mahibang ang tulad ko sa'yo.
Biru-biro ang simula, ang wakas pala ay ano?
Aayaw-ayaw pa ako, ngunit 'yan ay 'di totoo.
Dahil sa iyo puso kong ito'y binihag mo."

"Sa piling mo sinta ko napapawi ang lungkot;
Napaparam, nagbabago ang lahat ng himutok.
At sa tuwi kong hahagkan ang pisngi mong mabango,
Ay tuluyang napaparam ang hirap ko."

"Akala mo yata kita'y nililimot; alaala kita sa gabing pagtulog.
Ang inuunan ko luhang umaagos; ang binabanig ko ay sama ng loob.
'Di ka na nahabag, di ka na naawa. Lusak na ang lupa sa patak ng luha."

"Tumataghoy sa gabing mapanglaw ang abang lagay ko, o mutyang hirang
Sana'y dinggin ang hibik at daing, waring malalagot na ang buhay na angkin."

"Sa bawat sandali tayo ay magkapiling, sa bawat lunggati pakinggan ang hiling;
Ang puso ko't budhi ay hindi sinungaling, sana ay ulinigin damdamin ko, giliw-- Asahan, pangarap nitong buhay, lahat ng araw kita'y mamahalin.
Iwasan ang iyong alinlangan, lahat ng araw kita'y mamahalin.
Sa labi ng imbing kamatayan itangi yaring pagmamahal.
Tulutang magtapat sa 'yo hirang lahat ng araw kita'y mamahalin."

"Malayo man, malapit din pilit kong mararating; 'wag lamang masabi mong 'di kita ginigiliw."

"Nasaan ka irog, at dagling naparam ang iyong paggiliw?
'Di ba 'ga sumpa mong ako'y mamahalin, iyong itatangi magpahanggang libing?"

Easy Fifty

My mum and I went to her uncle's place in Camarillo the other day so we could go to the outlet center and do some Independence Day shopping spree. Mum's uncle's wife was kinda paranoid. I dunno guys if you'd believe me or not but here goes..

One night we spent in their house, my mum and I did not sleep in the guest room as usual, we were assigned to sleep in the master's bedroom since mum's aunt went to the Philippines and her uncle used his son's room. Guest room were occupied by my two brothers and my mum's cousin and his maternal cousins stayed in the media room. I went to bed late, about 3:30am-ish, coz my elder brother and I stayed late that night chatting as usual about nothing in particular, he was staying with mum's uncle that time helping mum's uncle with their "home improvement project". I had this dream about this gay guy in 70's red hippie outfit, plain tunic-like top and floral printed pyjama-like bottom, complete with the long hair. He came in through the bathroom door and there was suddenly a stairs that appeared going up the ceiling. I followed him. He went inside this room with green carpet and had a lot of wall shelvings filled with jars of pickled penis. He knew I was following him that he turned around and walked closer to me, opened his pants' garter strings and showed me his cut-off penis! Of course I was horrified I didn't know how I was able to woke up, I woke my mum up and asked her to speed our way back home which she did for she had to work anyways and she told me we were going to leave by 4am. It was only 3:45am, meaning I hadn't slept that long.

On our way home, I told my mum about my dream and she told me that her uncle's house had an attic and it has a room. She also told me not to take my dream seriously because maybe my mind was just too filled with dragon and other mythical creatures' tales, my mum's cousin was only 15 y/o and he and his cousins found the folklores interesting we talked about it during dinner. I did calm down after our talk, but my mum was such a blabbermouth that she told my dream to her uncle, and his youngest brother along with his wife and gawd knows who else, who in turn told his paranoid wife about it. Since mum's paranoid aunt was a paranoid, she had the house blessed and feng shui'ed to drive away the spirits from her house.

Fast-forward yesterday. My mum's aunt brought me to her brother's house who also had his house blessed and feng shui'ed not that long time ago. She asked me to feel the house, and I did. I had goosebumps on my right arm and neck, but not on the other parts of my body. I found the house dark, but they justified it by saying because the sun had already set. Our house doesn't go as dark as that house even when the sun already set, duh..? Even the facade of that house was dark, hullo..?! I told the homeowner to change his son's bed arrangement and to throw away this specifically "dark" painting which wasn't there when the feng shui expert came to their house. For my mum's aunt's house, I didn't tell her to alter anything, so for my "services" she gave me 50 bucks. I should have told her I saw this teenage girl wandering around her receiving room by her grand piano, for an additional 50 bucks! Pffft!

x's: I went up the attic via the garage coz the ladder to go up there was in the garage. It was a long walk going to that room I saw in my dream that I asked my mum's uncle if there was any other door to get to the attic, and he told me there was a trap door in their bedroom closet near the bathroom. The room was exactly how I saw it in my dream, minus the carpet that my mum's uncle removed earlier this month because it was moldy and smelly.

V2O the Venue

My sis-in-law and I were invited by my mum's business associate to join them clubbin at Long Beach. The club was the best one I went in so far! There was a contest on who "dances" best in their lingerie and they were being auctioned afterwards. Good thing the sisters who invited us weren't too drunk during the auction, or else thay would have joined it too. Anyhoo, the sisters got too drunk because they knew the bartender there, his name's Mark, so we had to stop by Denny's to sober them up by having them throw up in the toilet and had them drank coffee.

Aside from the sisters getting drunk, the only thing that made me extremely uncomfortable was this old fart, he's a sexagenarian I guess, he kept on following me! And then whenever I looked his way he would wink and smile at me.

The Mix

We spent the weekend at Las Vegas, on the same hotel where Manny Pacquiao had his match with David Diaz. Mandalay Bay Hotel, as expected was crowded with FIlipinos, Mexicans, and other boxing enthusiasts. Mum, and her friends got tickets for the match, and since I wasn't a Pacman fan, I didn't watch it with them; however, it was very unforutnate for my younger brother because he wants to see the match lve as well, but my mum didn't get him a ticket assuming he wanted to go to the arcades instead. My mum also happened to forgot about my brother going to the arcade after the match was done and she started playing pai gow and blackjack at the hotel's casino. My poor brother just stayed in the hotel room and watched iCarly until mum's bf joined him and watched World Poker Tour.

I was invited by my aunt on my father's side to go up to the 64th floor of the hotel. It took me 2 hours to figure out how to get to the said floor, because first, I got directed to ride this lift that's supposed to take me up the penthouse, unfortunately, I don't have the key to activate said lift. Went back to fall in line in the front desk and the lady there gave me a map. In the vast hotel and casino, I lost my way a couple of times, until I saw The Mix, or the long line forming outside of it. Good thing my aunt got me in the guest list, I only fell in line for about an hour and so. I saw Bella Flores and Robert Jaworski got in before me, but it still didn't give me the slightest idea that I was about to go to Pacquiao's victory party. So imagine my shock when I got in that master's suite-like place and saw Chavit Singson and the Bello-ized wife of Manny looking like one of those Mexican hos I saw everyday in the mall, with this almost midget guy with bandages on his hand, yup, it was Pacman himself, alright..saw them when I was about to leave because that wasn't my crowd in that place. People there were to old and too political for me, I felt suffocated! Besides, I was wearing one of my clubbin' dresses and sexy heels, what if one of those ecchi/hentai politicians saw me and thought with their inferior head? Baka makapagtaray at mapa-away lang ako nang wala sa oras. My aunt's guestlist, Bella Flores, and Robert Jaworski should have given me a clue already what to expect.

I went back to the casino and played slots and drunk cocktails to drown my frustration. I wasn't able to take a dip in that raging water pool, and I wasn't able to get into a "decent" club since my friend from Vegas had an emergency, a gf emergency. At least luck smiled upon me and I won ten bucks playing slut, ahermn..slots.

Of Death And Pastries

"Jonathan Trager, prominent television producer for ESPN, died last night from complications of losing his soul mate and his fiancee. He was 35 years old. Soft-spoken and obsessive, Trager never looked the part of a hopeless romantic. But, in the final days of his life, he revealed an unknown side of his psyche. This hidden quasi-Jungian persona surfaced during the Agatha Christie-like pursuit of his long reputed soul mate, a woman whom he only spent a few precious hours with. Sadly, the protracted search ended late Saturday night in complete and utter failure. Yet even in certain defeat, the courageous Trager secretly clung to the belief that life is not merely a series of meaningless accidents or coincidences. Uh-uh. But rather, its a tapestry of events that culminate in an exquisite, sublime plan. Asked about the loss of his dear friend, Dean Kansky, the Pulitzer Prize-winning author and executive editor of the New York Times, described Jonathan as a changed man in the last days of his life. "Things were clearer for him," Kansky noted. Ultimately Jonathan concluded that if we are to live life in harmony with the universe, we must all possess a powerful faith in what the ancients used to call "fatum", what we currently refer to as destiny."

Raping Adam..

I dunno why the idea of raping a man excites me..

Family Guy - Lois Jumps Peter

M-U-S-H

A comedy about the greatest love story almost never told..

"Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies,"

-Aristotle

Ticking Clock..

I was sick since Tuesday last week, at first I thought it was a simple case of food poisoning when I rushed to our office ladies' room to throw-up. I went home two hours earlier than the office hours. The following night, I felt worse, I cannot eat decently without vomitting and defecating, I cannot even drink a drop of water. I went to the doctor first thing the morning after. The doctor's diagnosis was stomach flu, but did lab work still, just to be safe and sure.

This morning, I missed my fourth day at work because I still feel like hell, good thing the doctor's office called me in for the results I can give the office another doctor's note. Unfortunately, I learned that I'm a disaster waiting to happen. Lab test indicated that I have an acute pyelonephritis, kidney infection in layman's term, and I'm just waiting for a hike in my temperature so I could rush myself in the ER, as I type this blog down.

I'm thinking of quitting work before they could fire me for not showing up. I mean, I called them up to inform them I'm not well, but will the work piling up on my desk wait until I get better..? What if I get worse? I'm still under probation, I have worked for only ten days and six hours, they can just hire somebody else again, right?

Club Cabana

Last Friday, my girl friends and I went out clubbing at Club">http://www.cabanaclubhollywood.com/">Club Cabana in Hollywood. Damien got us in his guest list. It was packed with asians and the beat of the music didn't jive with each other, 'coz the dj will play a fast beat music one second, then a slower one the next that my girlfriends and I literally stop everytime the dj changes the song.

Anyhoo, I invited my uncle to tag along with us 'coz he'll be moving to Frisco (San Fran) next school year, he's a PE/SpEd teacher btw, so we decided to have him take a glimpse of a "Hollywood" night. He was supposed to sleep over at our place, but he called his friend, and his friend invited him to spend the night at his place, and in return, my cousin invited his friend to meet us up at Club Cabana.
During our 30-minute ride to Hollywood, my cousin told us that this friend of his was a Pinoy model, and he used to model for Ben Chan. He also told us that his friend's a former UST varsitarian and close pals with another Filipino hunk'a model John Hall.

I joked and asked my cousin if his friend's still available or already taken, and they, my cousin and my girl friends, didn't take it as a joke, and thought I was serious about it. So, my cousin described his friend to us, he said his friend's also "masculado", but not the "bato-bato" type. His body's lean like those of Calvin Klein models. Geez! My cuz knows me well! I ogle and drool over CK models, except for Mark Wahlberg, 'coz of their boyish kind of appeal, but at the same time there's this raw animal inside lurking kinda thing going on.

After a couple of minutes upon entering Club Cabana. I met this epitome of a male Filipino, Iago Raterte.

P.S. We had a chat and exchanged digits, we planned on going out clubbing again this week, hopefully matuloy. I'm not interested in him like I'm having butterflies in my stomach whenever I see him or like I wanna fuck him or anything of that sort, I just feel like having another male friend here in the US.

X's: Tangna! Sana next time, real CK model na ma-meet ko..

It's A Cruel, Cruel Summer..

I hate summer.. It's soo frickin' hot and not in a good way or sexy way.. Office is kinda casual so I decided to dress like this, --- shirt, shorts, and sandals --- after all, it's summer.. Mwehehehe!! I did lost a couple of pounds, but not yet my target weight.. Wish I could shed some more..

Luck of the Irish!

Sabe nila pag minalas ka, uulanin ka, pero pag sinuwerte ka, bagyo naman.

I got hired yesterday, after three months of unemployment and jobhunting. I am half-psyched and half-jittery on my new job as an accounts payable clerk in a large meat company along with its three sub-companies. Biruin mo, they risked and hired me even if I do not have American accounitng experience, that's a one-in-a-million chance! The company owner's of eastern european descent just like the hiring manager who told me that she wants me to live the american dream that's why she hired me. Kewlness, noh?

Today, I got my tax refund. I saved half of it in my savings account for my down payment whenever I find an apartment. The other half that was left on my checking account, I used to buy my mum her mother's day and birthday gifts.

Toge Toge @ Awa Awa

Miss Double-finger a.k.a. Paula is one of Baroque Works' assassins paired with devil's fruit ability. She ate the Toge Toge no Mi which gives her power to make spikes out of her body. I love her as the Spider's Cafe bartender, Paula, with the Bohemian-ish look, however, I'm not as thrilled when she's Miss Double-finger with those big hair a la Diana Ross, exaggerated hip-swaying way of walking, and what's up with the pipe..?!

Kalifa appeared to be Water 7's mayor Iceburg's secretary, but she turned out to be one of the World Government's secret agent, a member of the elite group Cipher Police 9 (CP9).
She ate the Awa Awa no Mi, which gave her the power to release bubbles that drain her oppoonent's energy. Her look strikes me as a dominatrix, with her spectacles, fishnets, and yes, the whip, thorns and all..

"Yes, my mistress.. Whatever pleases you, my mistress.."

Miss All-Sunday

I'm not a big cow boy fan, but if that cow boy, or in this sitch, a cow girl, is as hot as Miss All-Sunday, I would not mind covering each wall of my room with her poster.

It has been a week now since I last saw One Piece anime, wherein Miss All-Sunday is one of the characters. She is the archaeologist in the Straw-Hat Pirate Crew.

This raven-haired beauty ate a devil's fruit at a very young age. She can duplicate any part of her body because of the Hana Hana no Mi ability.

She first came into scene when she "assassinated" Igaram a.k.a. Mr. * of Baroque Works. She was Mr. 0's, a.k.a. Mr. Crocodile of the Shichibukai, partner. Although it was rumored that Miss Doublefinger is stronger than her, she became Mr. 0's partner because she can read the ancient writings.

I see her as a real femme fatale, or an alpha female, if you may. She's smart, always calm, and she loves to read. She's the smartest Straw Hat crew. She dropped her code name Miss All-Sunday when she joined Luffy and the gang. At first, she don't call the other crew members by their name; She hasn't warmed up yet, that's why. One of her attributes that I can relate to.

This mysterious lady was labeled a she-demon, and the World Government put a 79 million beli bounty on her at the very young age of eight. The label and the bounty was all because she can read the ancient writings that can lead to the discovery and resurrection of Pluton, the most powerful weapon ever existed.

My fascination to this chick started when I saw a random One Piece episode. I think that was the Straw Hats' adventure in Skypeia, 'coz I vaguely remember that guy with long ears. She was wearing a simple sleeveless top and a pair of purple pants at first, then changed to a purple suit when she was investigating the ancient ruins of the "Holy Land".

Shortly before docking at Water 7, a city built on water where the most skillful shipwrights can be found, the crew met Admiral Aokiji who told them about the dark side of Robin. Upon docking at Water 7, she along with a mysterious gentleman who whispered to her "CP9", tried to assassinate the island's mayor, Iceburg, and tried to sever ties with Mugiwara no Kaizoku (Straw Hat Pirates).

Of all the clothing ensemble I saw her in, this one on the left is my favorite. Black long leather biker's jacket, and black thigh-high leather boots. Simple yet fashionable.

Slavery by Matt Wilde

Since the beginning of time, humanity has been trying to enslave it's own. When the authority realized they were losing the battle to do it by force (around 1930 or so), they decided to offer it on a volunteer basis. I'm just amazed at how many Americans chose to volunteer for such a life.

I just saw Michael Moore's film, "Sicko," and it outlines it perfectly. Instilling fear, stupidity, greed and hopelessness helps control the people. Though we're given the illusion of having the freedom to choose, living in debt and fear takes away that ability to choose with a clear mind. Poor people are less likely to vote, and more likely to believe what they hear through the mass media. People are shackled by car insurance, health insurance, college loans, rising gas prices and credit card debt. People who feel pessimistic and hopeless, and more likely to follow, rather than to lead. An educated, healthy and confident nation is much harder to govern, so the government wants it's people to be dumb, sick and demoralized. In doing so, we are more likely to take orders and hope for the best.

Schools don't teach our young how to lead; they teach us how to follow. They don't teach entrepreneurism or money management, but instead how to follow directions and be good employees. They don't teach history honestly, but instead instill blind Patriotism. We are taught that buying and owning stuff, determines the value of our lives. We are taught the in order to buy stuff and have a good life, we must have a good job. In order to get a good job, we must get a college education. And by the time we leave college, we're already deep in debt and scared, and wouldn't dream of stepping out of line. Plus these corporate jobs offer HMO plans, because, heaven forbid, we might get sick and need medical care.

Though we are no longer beaten or whipped physically by our masters, and we have the ability to buy healthful food, and afford warm, comfortable shelter, how many corporate drones feel like they are living with purpose, rather than enslaved by the system? Living with gratitude rather than fear? How many feel like they are serving and benefiting humanity, rather than stripping it to the extent that the lobbied law will allow? How many feel put upon and resentment towards their bosses? How many feel envious of the rich? How many are asked to work harder, longer and more productively than they did the day before? How many feel depressed and in need of controlled medication to alleviate this illness? How many satiate their lives with drugs, alcohol, sex, consumerism and mindless mental distraction?

We are at the end of American supremacy. Our borders are falling down. Our government is the laughing stock of the rest of the world. Our dollar is growing worthless. We are at the dawn of a re-revolution. Humility, health, education and confidence are our weapons. Fear, greed and woe are our enemies.

STOP WORKING FOR MONEY, AND START SHARING YOUR UNIQUE GIFTS WITH THE REST OF US!!! TRUST THAT YOU WILL BE SUPPORTED!!

One World, under God, serving each other, so that we may enjoy this life, the after, and the lives of those to follow. Amen.

Sai sez: how many pron stars write something as piquant as this..?

Trip Down Memory Lane: Combatron

Funny Komik's version of Megaman. A Pinoy cyborg superhero idolized by most kids.

Bago pa si Uzumaki Naruto nauso, si Combatron muna ang kinalokohan ng mga estudyante ng Notre Dame of Greater Manila - Caloocan.

I remember how pissed off I was every Friday coz I've had to perfect my quizzes or else I wont have had moolah to buy me the latest copy of Funny Komiks. Perfecting quizzes ain't hard. I just don't wanna do it 'coz people will expect a lot from me. Anyhoo, Funny komiks then was Php6.00.. Ewan ko na ngayon. Ano na ba ang nangyari kina Combatron, Axel, Metallica, and Death Metal (formerly known as Alchitran)..? Bulol pa rin ba si Ronaldito Perseus Edmund Jerome a.k.a. Eklok..? Nabisto na ba ang true identity ni Tinay Pinay..?

Street Fashion

According to Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia: Street fashion is a term used to describe fashion that is considered to have emerged not from studios, but from the grass roots. Street fashion generally associated with youth culture, and is most often seen in major urban centres. Mainstream fashion often appropriates street fashion trends as influences.
I am your average shirt and jeans gal, but ever since I got into anime so deep, I decided to sport Street Fashion whenever I feel like it. I got this job at a dance studio Fall of 2006, and tried to glam up my blah look into these style.

Alas, I was reprimanded because, my employer who is a Brit is not as open-minded and was stuck into a "blah mentality" with regards to fashion.

It was very unfortunate and sad for those people who cannot find style and "decency/respectability" in the same get-up.














I mean what I wore wasn't as over the top as most Street Fashionistas you'll find walking in most Asian countries such as Japan and Taiwan. However, given the option, I would rather choose a somewhat over the top look rather than be a wallpaper and look BLAH!

My New Fetish

I'm a big anime fan and I wanted to attend the anime convention in San Jose ever since 2004. I was just browsing the web when my attention was caught by the cosplay images in one of the sites. The yearning in my heart came back rushing, and the thought came, if I'm gonna do a cosplay, who'd I be..?

My first choice last 2004 was Robin Sena from Witch Hunter Robin, second was either Yomiko Readman or Nenene Sumiregawa from Read or Die. My eyeglass fixation stepped up that time.

2006 came and I saw Nico Robin of One Piece sporting white trench coat and white boots. That time, my trench coat and boot fixation arose.

Now, 2008, even though my fave femme fatal in Naruto is Hinata Hyuuga, because of her nice bod and lithe movement in that one episode wherein she was practicing in the waterfall; I wanted to dress either like Anko Mitarashi or Karin, as a new fetish surfaced. bodystocking. I already bought two bodystockings yesterday.

nota bene: definition of bodystocking as defined in wikipedia, an article of lingerie, similar to a leotard or a catsuit. It is much the same thing as a unitard, but the term bodystocking is likely to be preferred when the garment is worn as an underlayer in cold weather. It usually has long legs, but it may have long, short, or no sleeves. Bodystockings are often crotchless. It is usually made from a sheer fabric similar to those used for stockings and tights, or from fishnet material. Some people consider bodystockings to be an erotic garment.

Shopaholic Meeh, Because Mum's a B.I.

My mum's VIetnamese and Indonesian friends called her last Friday and told her they had merchandises, and they're gonna bring it at the Nogales High School swap meet the next day. My mum asked me to come with her to help her carry her purchases, unfortunately, my mum's shopaholic aura shone on me come Saturday morning. What even excited me was two extra small sized dresses fit me like a glove! they fit my bust area, yey!! Now, I owe my mum, I dunno how much..mebbeh more or less a hundred bucks. Tsk!!

Maidening the Hoiden

It started last 2006.. My indulgence to feminine apparels: dresses, skirts, and blouses. Giving in once was all it took, and I got hooked. Now, I have more clothes in my closet than I ever could have imagined. I'm no longer satisfied with collared shirts and pants. Now, I gotta have skirts, and dresses paired with pantyhose or stockings with garter belts. Effeminate blouses showing-off my skin. D'ecollet'e is my new hot dress-cut. Fuck!! I think I'm like Dr. Jekyll whenever I'm in the Philippines, and Mr. Hyde whenever I'm here in the US. Well, of course, jeans and shirts make commuting easier back in my homeland, and with all those puddles even on paved city streets, I can't wear my high-heeled boots, espadrilles, and/or pumps there.

How Much I've Traveled So Far..

Menage a . . . . . Une

She felt a sudden urge to dance that day..

The urge was so strong it oozed out of her body..

Like an aura enveloping her being, radiating through her soul..

She submitted to its inevitability..

She stood up and dressed up..

She did her hair and make up..

"Damn, Bee, you looked so hot you're fuckable!"

Nohari

Nohari Window is a challenging inversion of the Johari Window, using antonyms of the original words. By describing your failings from a fixed list of adjectives, then asking your friends and colleagues to describe you from the same list, a grid of perceived and unrecognised weaknesses can be explored.

Look, mum, I'm in the mag!

Fear of the Known

It was mid-September when my cellphone rang in the middle of dawn. I was too tired from school and work I don't wanna answer it, but I thought, what if it's an emergency, especially it's from my aunt. My Tita Tammy. She was the one who raised us, my elder brother and I. I answered it, and was surprised not to hear my aunt's voice on the other line. It was my cousin's wife, Ate Sandra, she's the one holding my aunt's cellphone.


"Len, dinara namon si Tita sa ospital. Sabi san duktor stroke daw."
(Len, we rushed tita to the hospital. The doctor said she had a stroke)


I was suddenly awake, however, I felt my body went numb as well. For some minutes I wasn't able to utter something, then finally, "Kumusta na si tita? I-confine nyo muna sa hospital para ma-obserbahan. Pag kaya na ni tita bumiyahe, pa-brain CT scan nyo si tita either sa Cebu or Manila." (How's she? Have her confined in the hospital to be observed, and then if she can travel, bring her to Cebu or Manila for a CT scan.)


Two weeks later my tita had her CT scan in one of Cebu's hospitals. She had three brain tumors, a product of her cancer metastasis, and the specialist said she only has three or so months to live. Ironically, October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, Tita Tammy was a breast cancer survivor for thirteen years until three masses were spotted in her liver ultrasound last 2006.


I became rash. I tendered my two weeks' notice to my employer, dropped my class, and borrowed money from my mum to buy a plane ticket home. By the 24th of the month I was in the Philippines, I was able to talk to her over the phone. She just moaned and groaned, I felt a stabbing pain in my heart. Was her motor skills now affected by the cancer cells? By the 25th, I was in the hospital, on my aunt's bedside greeting her a happy birthday.


She just spoke to me that morning when I arrived. She told me I was so chubby, in an almost inaudible way, before she went to sleep. There wasn't any recognition on her face. It's as if she looked at me, but didn't see me. Afternoon came and her sisters and sister-in-law, along with their daughters and daughters-in-law visited her to give her a birthday bash in the hospital. She didn't wake up from her slumber, she didn't even stir, eventhough it's quite noisy, she hates noise, in her hospital room because of her chatting visitors. We called for the doctor, she had fallen into comatose.


She wasn't able to eat her chocolate cake. She loves chocolate.

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion: You have medium extroversion. You're not the life of the party, but you do show up for the party. Sometimes you are full of energy and open to new social experiences. But you also need to hibernate and enjoy your "down time." Conscientiousness: You have medium conscientiousness. You're generally good at balancing work and play. When you need to buckle down, you can usually get tasks done. But you've been known to goof off when you know you can get away with it. Agreeableness: You have high agreeableness. You are easy to get along with, and you value harmony highly. Helpful and generous, you are willing to compromise with almost anyone. You give people the benefit of the doubt and don't mind giving someone a second chance. Neuroticism: You have medium neuroticism. You're generally cool and collected, but sometimes you do panic. Little worries or problems can consume you, draining your energy. Your life is pretty smooth, but there's a few emotional bumps you'd like to get rid of. Openness to experience: Your openness to new experiences is high. In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas. You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits. A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything.

The Five Factor Personality Test

Pangangarir ng Blog

I haven't really blogged for a while now, I haven't read my friends' blogs lately either.. 'Di ko na nakakarir ang mag-blog, although I have a lot of things going on in my mind. I keep on promising myself that I will try to find time and write, or rather type, whatever nonsense I have in mind just to ease up whatever it is that's bothering me, but alas, I keep on stalling myself. I'd write a rough draft of my entry in my mind, but then I'd just end up doing nothing about it.

The Lost Pot Lid

I was browsing my friendster account last night when I noticed my cousin’s wedding video was posted on his wife’s account. Actually, we were classmates back in our senior year, and yeah, they were high school sweethearts basically. They broke up for a while when we were in college, then got back together obviously since they’re now married. As I was watching said video, I felt something kicked my gut. I didn’t know why I felt that way, and I couldn’t even pin-point if the feeling’s envy or something else. I always felt like my throat’s clogging/choking everytime I see young couples stare lovingly at each other. Then, for no apparent reason, I remembered the joke my HS freshman adviser used to tell us whenever we asked her why she never got married. “I met my soulmate, the only problem was I was facing the altar and he was not.” Well, of course I personally knew who broke her heart, he’s my father’s elder brother, duh.. A cousin of mine once said that when you met that certain person whom you’d feel like you wanna spend the rest of your life with, you’d know, but what if, like my HS teacher, you felt that way for this person but unfortunately s/he just doesn’t? Will they still be considered as your fated destiny, as ill as it was? And if they happened to just pass your life by, who will cover you in your lifetime?

Doomsday in 5.5

It has been foretold that the earth's apocalypse will take place on the 21st of December 2012 B.C.E.

Yes, I watch NatGeo, History, and Discovery channels..

*shrieks "the end is near!" like bloody murder*

After the Sabbatical

It's been six months since I was officially diagnosed as diabetic. It wasn't really a news, both my parents have it, my paternal grandad died of diabetic coma, most of my relatives have it as well. Even if it was an expected outcome from the blood tests I did, I still went through the denial stage.. no erase that..I'm still going through the denial stage. I know, it's been months already, but I still can't accept the truth that I've been sick all these years and we never noticed it, that my diabetes mellitus is not an adult onset one, but the juvenile kind.


After the diagnosis, I started on my oral treatment, one for my sugar, and another for my cholesterol. I fancied calling my cholesterol medicine my boob-shrinker, I lost 3 cup-sizes according to the VS associate who measured me last semi-annual sale. I now poke needles on my fingertips four times a day, before every meal and before bedtime. I do blood testing on a monthly basis to see if there were any progress in my sugar level. The past months were so hard and difficult for me, especially when my blood sugar fluctuates from 61 in the morning then it will rise up to 284 by noon. There were times when I can't get up from my bed because of numbness, there were times when I just mumble my words. It's been only half a year but my medication dosage already changed four times. My lifestyle didn't change though. With work and school, how can I have the time to do some exercise.


These past few months were too stressful for me that my migraine worsen. At first I thought it was just the side effects of either my sugar decreaser or boob-shrinker. My headaches now would go on for weeks, unlike before that I can just pop two 325mg of tylenol, take a cold shower, and sleep through the night and voila, headache's gone, boo yah! So my MD suggested it's maybe high time that I go to a radiology office for a brain cat scan. Well, there was no harm in doing what your MD advised you, right? So off I went to the radiology clinic after HMO gave me a go signal to do so. There they found a 10mm tumor in my pituitary gland.


Great!! The tumor just explained my headaches and my irregular menstrual cycle. I know, I was advised a couple of times to see a doctor with regards to that stupid irregular menstrual cycle of mine, I heed it, gosh!! I took it after I got my health insurance. But I guess I was diagnosed late, huh..? It's been a very trying year for me.. Imagine, I was just diagnosed of having a juvenile diabetes mellitus and will start doing insulin shots this month, then I had a brain tumor for a bonus.


My medical insurance will expire next month, and I don't know what to do afterwards.. Well, hindi pa naman ako mamamatay eh, hiling ko kase manalo lang ang Cleveland Cavaliers, puede na'kong mamaalam sa mundong ibabaw, kaso natalo sila last month sa San Antonio Spurs. 'Yun nga lang, wala namang makaka-miss sa'kin mawala man ako.. (Well, I won't die, not yet anyways, since I made a bet with the devil that if the Cleveland Cavaliers won, I could say goodbye to this world, but they lost to San Antonio Spurs last month. Besides, nobody will miss me when I'm gone..)

Why Don't You and I?

Since the moment I spotted you
Walking 'round with little wings on my shoes
My stomach's filled with the butterflies
And it's alright
Bouncing round from cloud to cloud
I got the feelin' like I'm never gonna come down
If I said I didn't like it then you know I'd lied

But every time I try to talk to you
I get tongue-tied
Turns out, everything I say to you
Comes out wrong and never comes out right

So I'll say why don't you and I get together an' take on the world
and be together forever
Heads we will and tails we'll try again
So I say why don't you and I hold each other, fly to the moon
and straight on to heaven
Cause without you they're never gonna let me in

When's this fever gonna break ?
I think I've handled more than any man can take
I'm like a love-sick puppy chasing you around
And it's alright
Bouncin' round from cloud to cloud
I got the feeling like I'm never gonna come down
If I said I didn't like it then you know I'd lied

Every time I try to talk to you
Get tongue-tied
Turns out, everything I say to you
Comes out wrong and never comes out right

So I'll say why don't you and I get together an' take on the world
and be together forever
Heads we will and tails we'll try again
So I say why don't you and I get together, fly to the moon
and straight on to heaven
Cause without you they're never gonna let me in

Slowly I begin to realize this is never gonna end
About the same time you walk by
And I say oh here we go again, oh

Every time I try to talk to you
I get tongue-tied
Turns out, everything I say to you
Comes out wrong and never comes out right

So I'll say why don't you and I get together an' take on the world
and be together forever
Heads we will and tails we'll try again
So I say why don't you and I get together, fly to the moon
and straight on to heaven
Cause without you they're never gonna let me in

So I'll say why don't you and I get together take and on the world
and be together forever
Heads we will and tails we'll try again
So I say why don't you and I get together, fly to the moon
and straight on to heaven
Cause without you they're never gonna let me in

So I`ll say why don't you and I get together and take on the world
and be together forever
Heads we will and tails we'll try again

Yagit Na Meh Chaket

yeah, I have a flu

because a spider bit me

and I had my hair cut,

what the fuck's up with that?!

Harem Scarem Fanatic

uhm..yeah.. I'm a hair metal band fanatic.. oobvious ba..? =P

Something to Say

Yesterday I had it all worked out to a 'T'

But now something's wrong between you and me

I was wrong, so wrong

To think that I would stay

Seasons come and seasons go

And today is another day

I wanna say now's the time

To go our separate ways

I don't know I might be wrong

Could we find the strength to say

That our love, our love has seen some better days

And who's to say if I had the chance

That I'd make the choice to say

If you ever had something that you wanted to say

You better start talking before I go away

I wish that I could say I've been feeling okay

That I'll be bringing on the better days

But I wouldn't feel right

Knowing I was lying to you

Am I wasting all my time, will we try to make a mend

I try to read between the lines

But all I see is the end

If you ever had something that you wanted to say

You better start talking before I go away

I wish that I could say I've been feeling okay

That I'll be bringing on the better days

But I wouldn't feel right knowing I was lying

Knowing I was lying to you.

Honestly

I stand before you accused of many crimes

But I want to believe that love can still survive

You don't have to say it, I don't have to read your mind

To know that emptiness has finally arrived

How was I to know right from wrong

Words were hardly spoken, so where did I go wrong

Tell me honestly, if you're still loving me

Looking into my eyes honestly

Words have more meaning, if they're said at certain times

I need you now so I can feel alive

How would you know if you won't give me some time

To see if everything could work you'll be mine

I'll be lost forever or someday I may find

The words that I've been searching for or just some peace of mind

Tell me honestly, if you're still loving me

Looking into my eyes honestly

All the nights I sit and wonder there must be more life

I'm sure that days and years go by while

I am living with, living with a lonely feeling

Tell me honestly, if you're still loving me

Looking into my eyes honestly

What People Think of Your Mouth

People see you as both demanding and irresistible. You are often the center of attention - and that's how you like it. You are up for anything and very energetic. People sometimes propose wild ideas to you. And who knows? Maybe you'll take them up on it. You are known to be a little freaky!

What Does Your Mouth Say About You?

tabachuchi

after 3 months of being a bumpire, I became fat again!! pffft!! ano magagawa ko kung tabain ako?! hamfotaj!!

Recipe for Rape

Ingredients:
1.75 L Jagermeister
1 L Johnnie Walker's Jekyll and Hyde
Soul foods (fried pork chops, fried chicken, potato salad, and coleslaw)
1 queen-sized bed in a dim-lighted room

Preparation
First, take a very quick shower, 10 minutes tops, to freshen you up after a long tiring day's work. Use a shower gel that comes with a body lotion and a body spray, which scent compliments and accentuates your body's natural uhm..aroma. Then, towel your hair but don't dry it, just leave it damp. Don't put any make-up on either, appear as fresh-looking as you can. Even if you're not used to wearing anything on when you sleep, you have to wear something in a slumber party, and since there are members from the opposite sex who are invited, better wear something that will not catch their attention, meaning something that might turn the wrong switches on. I suggest wearing a pair of jog suit or pyjamas, depends on the weather and/or season; however, under some circumstances, you can still stir that thing on them males, like you may have assets so visible even in these kind of apparel.

Working on with the Tricks
Ask someone who's also invited to the party to carpool with you. This way you can save gas and mileage of your own car. Give him a peck when he comes to your house to pick you up as a sign of greeting and thanks. In his car, ask him not to turn the a/c on, you wanted him to save gas too, and just let the night air blow your hair to your face along with the whiff of your scent to his nose. Upon arriving to your destination, go inside your host/ess house first and sit on the couch or love seat, he'll surely follow you and sit right next to you, 'coz by this time he's already addicted to your fragrance. Act as if you can't feel his eyes roaming all-over your body. Drink your Jag shots chased by Jekyll and Hyde shots as you're supposed to. Eat the soul foods in your plate that your host/ess has given you. Always stand up and go to the restroom if you feel like going even if you're already feeling the buzz of what you're drinking and make sure to pass by the electric fan frequently, or better yet, sit in front of it. Since you're tired and buzzed, you'll feel like the world's spinning around you, so ask your host/ess where his/her bedroom is, tell him/her you want to see his/her bed. When you get there, lay down and sleep lightly. After some time you'll feel the presence of another person. You know it's him; Although your mind's still awake, just pretend you're sleeping. Pretend until your pretentions become reality. He'll be lying down beside you by then.

Reaching the End
While you were sleeping, kiss him hard until you taste blood. Go on top of him, sit astride him, and tell him, "I'm gonna rape you tonight, bitch." Slap him across his face and follow it up with a backhand. Covering his mouth with your hand, bite his earlobe. Squeeze his chest. Nip his neck. Slap him again and again until you pass out on top of him. He'll stand up, lay you on your stomach, pull your legs down and leave it hanging on the side of the bed, strip your pants and undies off and exact his revenge. He'll just finish what you've started. Extinguishing the fire you've ignited he'll squirt on your buttocks with his loads. He's still a gentleman and will wipe it off your skin with a paper towel and put your clothes back on to its place. He'll also make sure you're lying on the same spot you're lying on when he entered the room so that nobody will know what happened that night except him, for tomorrow when you wake up, you'll simply think of it as a dream. A wet dream..

Scattered Thoughts of a Paranoid

"If I'd ever have to choose between my ovaries and my breasts, I'd surely give up my ovaries and just take some hormones in tablets.."

Mebbeh someone up there's punishing me right now because of that statement. I just noticed few days ago that the mole that surfaced on my right areolae is not the usual brwon or black one, it's maroon. How many maroon moles have you seen in your lifetime? Mine's just this one and it's on my body. It's still small and I haven't noticed if it's growing but I can feel it's one of those protruding ones. Aside from this one that stands out, I noticed a couple more moles on my mammary gland, one's half an inch from the maroon one, and the other is on my left nipple and I can only see it when my nipple's distended. It wouldn't hurt to go see a doctor, I know, but I can't help myself not to be afraid of the outcome. Maybe I'm just being paranoid after hearing that my friend has cysts in her pelvic area, and I'm having some psychological reactions on the mole too because I'm still having some menstrual pain and/ or cramps minus the menses. I already stopped popping OCP's so why the hell do I feel like my boobies are a ton each? Well, that only started to feel that way lately.. So why is it aching again?

When will my paranoia gonna end?

You are Grounded

You are one of the fortunate few people who is perfectly content with themselves. Though maybe not overly confident, you don't struggle with any significant insecurities and are certainly not shy. You aren't emotional, and though this makes you seem uncaring sometimes, anyone who gets to know you a little better knows there is a whole load of emotion just beneath the surface, you just control it very well.

The downside of being so balanced is you don't readily throw yourself off balance, like falling in love, for instance. You lack the capacity to be creative in a truly original sense and need someone else to bring flair and individuality into your life, or else run the risk of having your life become mundane and boring.

As you are so steadfast and capable, you can be a rock for a less secure person. You love being supportive and helping and could give yourself forever, as long as you got a little back. It doesn't take much to keep you happy, and when you do fall in love you are wholeheartedly there for your partner through all the highs and lows life throws at you.

Most compatible with: The Dreamer

The Dreamer is the polar opposite to you. Overly emotional, unstable and unbalanced, they are far from the secure person you are, but they have an artistic side that you will never have. They can see beauty and romance in everything, things you would take no notice of. Though you will often struggle to see eye to eye with the Dreamer, the intrigue and mystery that surrounds them and the colour they bring to your life will keep you holding onto them forever. After all, opposites attract, neh?

Least compatible with: The Submissive

The Submissive is only interested in serving their partner, and as you are an independent person who likes doing things for themselves and has no need for someone to depend on, a relationship with the Submissive is likely to irritate you to no end.

Your song is: This is the Last Time, Keane



Take this quiz!






http://i72.photobucket.com/albums/i171/TheBreak-upKids/Quizilla/loverswithguns2.jpg
You kill As A Result of Passion.
Being a very passsionate being, you kill on an impluse and probably regret it because it was someone near and dear to you.

Personality: Firey, Passionate, Emotional
Weapon: Whatever was closest and most capable at the time.
Expression/Action: Sad eyes, or a guilty depressed look down
Most Common Feeling: Regret

Take this quiz!

Quiz ulet..

Mesai, you're an Elephant in the wild world of love.

You're a favorite amongst any herd, aren't you, my little Elephant? Like your animal alter ego, you're probably more devoted, family-oriented, and loyal than your average creature roaming the jungle of love. For you, mating is probably more about expressing your feelings than just satisfying sexual urges. Overall, you're great with people, and you always seem to have a story or comment that leaves the group feeling better about things.

You're cuter than Dumbo, and smarter too, which is why hanging out with you is always a good time. With your charm, not to mention that sexy trunk, it's no wonder there are plenty of fans lining up to tango with you. Despite all the attention, however, you're probably not one to charge ahead into a romantic encounter without thinking first. You prefer to be friends first before letting things heat up. For you, romance is a seduction of the mind followed closely by your devoted heart. It's that authenticity that makes you so irresistible.

Hatake Kakashi

Which Naruto Character is your personality most like? (You dont have to watch\know Naruto to take this.)

You are Kakashi, a cheerful person and have a wrapped sense of humor. You are kind of a pervert. You usually put others safety before yours. Even if you had a bad past, you manage to put it all behind. You like reading romance or dirty books. You may look quite ditsy, but hey, appearance can be deceptive. You are a really loyal and caring friend.Best paired with someone that is crazy, strict or someone that is a loner.
Take this quiz!








Quizilla |
Join

Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

Eto na Ako Ngayon.. *sigh*

Arf, arf!!

Kalabaw lang daw ang tumatanda.. Ngunit bakit ganun, para akong sinikmuraan at tinadyakan nang aking mapagtantong ako ay tumatanda na?

Trip ko lang magmarathon ng Prince of Tennis sana, kaso ay mas inuna kong panoorin ang latest episode ng Naruto na aking na-download mula sa Dattebayo. Ang katapusan ng filler story tungkol sa Noroimusha ng Bird Country ay mayroong introduction ni Pakkun, ang aso ni Hatake Kakashi na team leader ng grupo nila Uzumaki Naruto, Uichiha Sasuke, at Haruno Sakura. Wala akong balak magsayang ng blog space at panahon para lamang ikuwento ang story ng Naruto so far, kaya balik tayo sa introduction ni Pakkun. Ang epsiode 166 kase ang first episode for the year 2006 at ang 2006 sa Chinese calendar ay Year of the Dog, thus, nagkaroon ng brief intro si Pakkun na isang pug. Ang closest cousin ko sa paternal side ay ipinanganak noong taon ng aso, mil nueve sientos otsenta y dos, at sa darating na Oktubre ay magbe-beinte y cuatro na siya. Dalampu't apat na taon.. Isang taon na lang quarter life na.. Ilang taon lang ang tanda sa'ken ng pinsan kong ito kaya nga naging close kame dahil inde kame nagkakalayo ng edad, kaya kung magka-quarter life na siya next year, ilang taon na lamang ay ako naman ang susunod..

Not that I don't wanna get old at mayroon akong Peter Pan syndrome.. Nagkataon lang na na-stuck ang utak ko into thinking na 15 pa rin lang ako noong college days ko, at 18 mula nang umapak ako sa lupa ng mga Amerikano. Ewan ko kung bahket.. Marahil ay dahil I haven't lived my teenage years to the fullest kaya gusto kong maging ganun muna ang age ko for quite some time.. Dose pa lang kase ako eh nagbabantay na ako ng tindahan ng Tita ko, though half-boring half-enjoyable naman, inde 'yun 'yung talagang gawain ng isang 12 years old.. Tapos kahet pa meh ganun ng responsabilidad na ibinabalikat sa'ken eh meh yaya pa rin ako hanggang mag-college ako or rather personal assistant na since dalaga na ako.. And 2 of my former PA's became my drinking buddies pa nga at isinasama kong mag-clubbing.

Anyhoo.. Meron daw ng tinatawag na "quarter-life crisis".. I dunno what it consists of and I don't fear it.. Napapansin ko lang na merong mga changes sa'ken as time passes by.. Una, matagal ko ng alam at inamin sa sarili kong horny ako and I admit (to others) I masturbate, though lately mas nagiging malibog ako and I feel like my mind and body are ready for sex. Pangalawa, nadi-depress ako lately especially pag nakikita ko sa Friendster ang mga classmates, schoolmates, batchmates, etc. ko na merong graduation pic na naka-post. Meron na silang tapos, meron na silang na-accomplish.. Ako? Eto, stuck sa lupa ni Uncle Sam kung saan ang pag-aaral ng kolehiyo ay mas mahirap kesa sa Pinas. Kung sa Pinas nagbebenta ng livestock ang mga magulang para mapag-aral ang kanilang mga anak, dito ka-kailanganin mong i-refinance every year or term depende sa kung magkano ang halaga ng hinuhulugan mong bahay para lamang mapag-aral mo ang iyong anak sa kolehiyo na isang napalaking gastusin sapagkat tumataas lalo ang value ng utang mo kada magre-refi ka. At ang huli, lagi kong iniisip at/ o kaya'y pinoproblema kung magkanong pera ang ipadadala ko sa Pinas para maipagpatuloy ang negosyo ng tiyahin ko, maipambili ng lupaing gusto ko/namin ni kuya, at pampagamot sa lola't tita ko..

Sa tuwinang naiisip ko 'yung dalawang huli kong binanggit, nagke-crave/naglalaway akong manigarilyo nang sunud-sunod, though I'm not a smoker.. Sign ba iyon ng quarte-life crisis..Ang pagiging smoker? =P

Kiss

Four or so years ago, I was asked by a lot of boy friends, horny and curious alike, what is the key to a woman's sexual submission? I laughed, I wanted to ask them "why?" but just kept the question in my mind and just answered them with another question, "why ask me? I'm not the right person to ask, 'coz first, I'm younger than all of you, and second, I haven't been intimate to anyone. All I have are theories yet to be proven by myself."

As I was drifting to slumber last night, I caught a glimpse of one of the Closer's scene, when Jude Law kissed Julia Roberts, and in my semi-asleep consciousness I thought, "that's my theory yet to be proven..the key.."

In my theory, if a guy could kiss a la Jude Law, Julian McMahon (Nip/Tuck and Charmed, Dr. Doom of Fantastic 4), and/or Enrique Iglesias, he can make any gurl totally submissive and do his every bidding. Why? Because a kiss done the proper way at the right moment can turn all the switches in a woman's physiology and psychology on..

A kiss full of passion and hunger.. A mixture of respect and desire.. A kiss so goddamnfuckingly good 'tis orgasmic..

As Tom Jones pointed out in his song, Kiss, "You don't have to be beautiful to turn me on.." True. Proof? Though I don't find Tom Cruise handsome, the general public do.. And even if I do, even if he's The Tom Cruise, I still am not turned on by him the way I feel whenever I watch Enrique Iglesias in his Hero music video. He doesn't make me want to be with him in his love or kissing scenes. He can't make me gasp and hunger like I'm the one he's kissing unlike Cole while frenching Phoebe.

A 10-Minute Ride

"I heard you're planning to spend the holidays back home now that you already have your greencard?" My mum's uncle asked me on our way to my workplace. Uncle Roger volunteered to drop me off that day since he's not interested in watching Kampanerang Kuba unlike his wife and my mum. I just confirmed what my mum told him, he went on talking and I heard the best advice given to me, "Enjoy your vacation, then, 'coz by the time you got back here, you'll have to focus on your studies and part-time job, whatever it may be."

If only he knew.. I won't be really enjoying myself in the Philippines.. I'll hafta manage my aunt's store while she's having her much-needed vacation and check-up. I won't be a part of the "Empe Boiz" anymore, though salimpusa naman lang talaga ako.. All I have is 2 days at most, if ever matuloy man ako this month.. Kahet kase I'm working my flat ass off, eh part-timer lang naman ako tsaka minimum lang rate ko, kaya short pa rin ako ng pamasahe.. Sa hangin kase kame nagkapirmahan ni kuya ng kontrata na if ever man kapusin ako eh iso-shoulder n'ya..

"Pagdating mo dun, mag-scout ka na ng mapapangasawa mo. Dapat Nursing grad at masipag, 'yung ipagta-trabaho ka para mabuhay kayo not the other way around. Tapos, i-petition mo na makarating dito, pero kelangan you love each other. Tignan mo kame ng Auntie mo. Mas maganda pa rin kase pag Pilipino rin mapapangasawa mo eh."

"Aray ko, bata pa po ako," was my reply but wasn't voiced out, late na'ko for work eh..